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- |Changes [Feb 26, 2009]
The camera
He asked me to promise him. I could tell he really cared and loved his son by the way he asked me- as if he today were the last day of his life. Even hearing his voice somewhat made me want to cry. I assured him that I would definitely take care of his son. We were a family and my father took care of them; I will do the same without thinking twice.
The night of my promise, I told my father the same words I told my uncle. My father tapped my shoulder signifying that he was proud of me, of what I did, but at the same time, he told me it wasn’t my responsibility. My father told me that only my uncle can make a difference and that’s setting an example for his son by getting a job. I replied to my father telling him that uncle broke his back and cannot work. My father simply asked- can’t he be a taxi driver? He was right; a taxi driver sits in a seat all day just like what my uncle already does by sitting in front of a computer all day. I could no longer find any excuse for my uncle. That was the beginning of everything. When I noticed something was abnormal. When something in me wanted to change something I saw.
As I end these journal entries, I would like to thank everyone who helped me along the way. First on the list is Henry for his great knowledge in MMORPGs and understanding of my uncle’s situation. Sebastian for being a great TA guiding me along the way by pointing me to the right places- including Henry and Mr. Castronova’s work. Finally, Professor Shanks for his ever more interesting lectures and original approach to each artifact inspiring me to do the same.
In a forum I read online, a World of Warcraft player auctioned off his wedding ring for in game currency. I was dumbfounded from reading it with my own eyes. But at the same time, it gave me some relief that my uncle still had hope. At least he was not prepared to give up his family. He cared about his son’s future. The only thing missing was that he could not set an example that reflected what he wanted to see in his son. But at the very least, he is setting an example as a person. Some people would resolve to theft. But my uncle just wanted to start over in a world where he can be on the same footing with everyone else. He just wanted to be in a world you could start over and no one would judge on your age, gender, background, and looks. That spirit of not giving up, is what I respect most of him.
I remember once, my uncle told me he is paying life insurance so that when he dies, his son could get some money. May be not enough to live comfortably, but enough to live a few years. For a family that has trouble paying tuition and for a family that always had an empty fridge- that was something.
So there is definitely hope. I believe that someday, he will wake up and notice that along with his love for his son, should come responsibility of setting an example. It will take time, but undoubtedly worth it. If I were still playing Ragnarok now, I would go to the temple and make a wish- to see my uncle get a job, wake up in the morning the same time my aunt does, put on a tie and ready to step out the door.
After writing all of this I have come to realize that maybe Lineage is a good transition for my uncle. Maybe he will gain back the same confidence he lost when he got laid off and face the real society again someday. Now I understand why my father stopped introducing him to new jobs. My father did not give up- he never does. He is waiting.
