ANIMATION: a sketch about
an archaeological find leads to:
CAPTION: ÓARCHAEOLOGY TODAYÓ
Interview set for
archaeology program. Chairman and two guests sit in chair in front of a blow-up
of an old cracked pot.
Interviewer Hello.
On ÓArchaeology TodayÓ tonight I have with me Professor Lucien Kastner of Oslo
University.
Kastner Good evening.
Interviewer How
tall are you, professor?
Kastner ... I beg your pardon?
Interviewer How
tall are you?
Kastner I'm about five foot ten.
Interviewer ...
and an expert in Egyptian tomb paintings. Sir Robert ... (turning
to Kastner) are you really five foot ten?
Kastner Yes.
Interviewer Funny,
you look much shorter than that to me. Are you slumped forward in your chair at
all?
Kastner No, er I...
Interviewer Extraordinary.
Sir Robert Eversley, who's just returned from the excavations in El Ara, and
you must be well over six foot. Isn't that right, Sir Robert?
Sir Robert (puzzled) Yes.
Interviewer In
fact, I think you're six foot five aren't you?
Sir Robert Yes.
Applause from
off. Sir Robert looks up in amazement.
Interviewer Oh,
that's marvelous. I mean you're a totally different kind of specimen to
Professor Kastner. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.
Sir Robert Yes.
I thought we were here to discuss archaeology.
Interviewer Yes,
yes, of course we are, yes, absolutely, you're absolutely right! That's
positive thinking for you. (to Kastner) You wouldn't have said a
thing like that, would you? You five-foot-ten weed. (he turns his back very
ostentatiously on Kastner) Sir Robert Eversley, who's very interesting, what
have you discovered in the excavations at El Ara?
Sir Robert (picking
up a beautiful ancient vase) Well basically we have found a complex of tombs...
Interviewer Very
good speaking voice.
Sir Robert ...
which present dramatic evidence of Polynesian influence in Egypt in the third
dynasty which is quite remarkable.
Interviewer How
tall were the Polynesians?
Kastner They were...
Interviewer Sh!
Sir Robert Well,
they were rather small, seafaring...
Interviewer Short
men, were they... eh? All squat and bent up?
Sir Robert Well,
I really don't know about that...
Interviewer Who
were the tall people?
Sir Robert I'm
afraid I don't know.
Interviewer Who's
that very tall tribe in Africa?
Sir Robert Well,
this is hardly archaeology.
Interviewer The
Watutsi! That's it - the Watutsi! Oh, that's the tribe, some of them were eight
foot tall. Can you imagine that. Eight foot of Watutsi. Not one on another's
shoulders, oh no - eight foot of solid Watutsi. That's what I call tall.
Sir Robert Yes,
but it's nothing to do with archaeology.
Interviewer (knocking Sir Robert's vase to the floor) Oh to hell with archaeology!